FMCEO

Back in the 90s, when email was still a novelty, I went to send a coworker a juicy email about our terrible CEO.

It included:

1) A mention of the CEO’s “saggy tits” that I happened to see as he sunned himself at a recent offsite meeting

2) Details about 2 married co-workers (named, of course!) having an affair

3) News of my own (secret) office romance

I pressed send, then before leaving work went to clean out my sent mail box.That’s when I realized that the email had chosen the wrong name (I started typing in the “to” slot, but since my coworker, “Frieda,” had a name that started off like another coworker, “Frank,” it auto-filled the wrong person and I didn’t notice).

The problem is the person whose name happened to be right next to my coworker’s was, in fact, CEO saggy-tits.

Thankfully, since this was in the olden days, I knew that the CEO didn’t read his own email–it was screened by his admin, who would print out the relevant emails for him. He was also based overseas, so when my email went out, he had already gone home.

I wound up having to call in all the favors I had with his admin, who luckily I’d been smart enough to make friends with early (word to the wise: ALWAYS befriend the CEO’s admin), but after a few frantic calls overseas and a sleepless night, I managed to convince her to delete the email (after reading if she wanted) and pretend it never happened.

She did. I kept the job. And probably gained an ulcer.

-Anonymous, NYC

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