Coming to your parents’ house was definitely the right decision. Sure, the turkey’s always a little dry, and your Uncle Lou always makes incredibly uncomfortable comments about the flag girls in the Macy’s Day Parade, but it’s tradition.

And you’ll get to eat for free for days.

You wake up Friday morning in your childhood bed, only mildly cramped from your childhood mattress, and call the office. Better to get this out of the way as soon as possible.

The phone rings…

…and rings…

…and rings, then finally the voicemail picks up.

Sorry no one’s here to, uh-uh-uh, answer your call. Please leave a…

The sound of your boss’s awful tic of a laugh convinces you that you made the right decision. The resentment you feel just hearing his voice is overpowering.

You could leave a message, but if no one’s there to answer phones, chances are no one will get it, anyway. You hang up and head to the kitchen for coffee and breakfast-pie. It’s still early, and they’re definitely short-staffed today. You’ll just try back in an hour or so.

Around 9:30 you try again.

Sorry no one’s here to, uh-uh-uh…

You’re not nervous, exactly–you know your boss won’t be there to catch you out–but you decide to open your email just in case. Sending an email would make it look like you actually were working.

You have no new messages, which is good–nothing’s imploding without you–but also leaves you exactly where you started.

If you don’t let someone know you’re taking this sick day, what will happen? Will you just wind up checking your email frantically all day, terrified that you’ll get in trouble? You might as well be working if you do that. You just need to make sure someone knows, then you’re off the hook. That’s how it’s supposed to work.

Though now that you think about it, do you even enjoy spending time with your family? Uncle Lou’s gravy farts are already hanging heavily over the first floor, like a pall of impending annoyance. Are you totally wasting your sick day?


If you want to email your boss so it’s clear you’re being responsible about the sick day, click here.

If you want to race back to the office to try to salvage the rest of your time off, click here.

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