You can’t let this happen. He’ll have proof you were completely ignoring company policy. Worse, he might see the picture you’re using on your profile and question why you’re posing as your coworker, Johnson, on this dating website. How can you not? Johnson’s hair always looks so smooth. Like it’s been carved out of butter.
Leaning back as far as you can, you kick your leg out towards where you think the plug might be.
“Did you hear me? I’d, uh-uh-uh, like to see the profile. Maybe we have the same taste, uh-uh-uh,” your boss chuckles.
Oh god, that would be even worse.
Reaching your leg forward as far as it will go, you kick desperately at the socket.
But you’ve overextended! Your center of balance is all off! Just as you feel your foot connect with something hard and square, your chair rolls out from under your butt, flipping you backwards and onto the floor, the wheels still spinning futilely in the air.
“AAAHHHHH!” You shriek in pain. You’re not actually in pain, of course, but it seems like the best way to get sympathy.
From the ground, you peer at your screen. It’s still on. Fuck—what did you hit?
“You know, let’s just, uh-uh-uh, pick this up in a few minutes. Once you’ve…” your boss wrinkles his nose up in a look of supreme disgust. “…dealt with this…situation.”
You nod gratefully.
“You know what, I think I’ll ask Sharon from HR to join us. We can all discuss your, uh-uh-uh, time management together.”
You see your boss’s trousers retreating from your position on the floor.
“What the FUCK?” you hear from the cubicle next to yours as you start to sit up. “My entire computer just died! I can’t even turn it on! Jesus Christ, THAT PRESENTATION TOOK ME A WEEK!”
On second thought, maybe you should crawl over and put that plug back in the wall before you try to stand.
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