Dear god, this meeting just will not end. How is it even possible to talk about “next steps” for three hours without at any point deciding on a real thing to do?

I.T. is updating software today, so you don’t have your laptop, and you can’t doodle anything else around the margins of your notebook without making it obvious how little you’re paying attention.

If you had the choice right now, you’d rather die of exposure  than endure another minute of this.

“And that’s why, uh-uh-uh, our deliverables can be expected to get a better ROI on B2B communications and customer-facing platforms than ever before.” Your boss’s nervous tic of a laugh makes the sentence sound even more asinine, something you hadn’t thought possible.

He sits down and everyone around the table claps listlessly.

Are you the only one who noticed that his brilliant presentation was suggesting you mount the exact same campaign you mounted five years ago, and again three years ago, and again 18 months ago, which failed miserably every time? Do people really think you’re planning to “innovate” this time around, when you have literally never once seen anyone who works here offer a single new idea?

“What do you think,” your boss says, turning your way. Fuck. Caught out. “Does that seem like the smartest strategy to you?”

No, and in fact, you have a much better idea that will really turn things around! Click here

Of course not, but you know they’ll eventually do it that way, so you may as well toe the company line. Click here