You open your boss’s latest email on the mockup. It’s the twelfth round of edits he’s suggested.

Now that I see this again, I wonder whether we should present ourselves as ‘experts’ in this topic. Would it be wiser to approach this from a customer-service angle? Please redraft with that in mind.

You look at the clock. It’s already 4:45. You don’t have plans, but the idea of staying past five makes the inside of your stomach itch.

Feeling reckless, your write back:

I disagree; our open-rates are always highest when expertise is mentioned in the subject line, and market research suggests…

You throw in a few more plausible-sounding lies–after all, it’s not like he’s going to take the time to fact-check your fake-research–and sign off.

Minutes later he responds:

Thanks for your input. While I appreciate all the time you put into this strategy, and your willingness to try something new, I don’t feel this approach is working. Let’s go with what we know–I’m attaching my deck from the meeting so you can see what I had in mind for this project originally. As you know, we need final copy no later than Monday COB, so please have a draft to me by Monday AM.

You should have known this would happen. You did know this would happen. And still, you raised your hand, like the fucking idiot that you are, in an effort to what–look like a model employee? As though that gained you anything the two other times you tried it.

Fuck your idiot boss. Fuck his outdated, shitty ideas.

Also, since it’s Friday, fuck your weekend. You’ll only be doing this. And you only have yourself to blame.

THE END

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