You glue your eyes to the table. If your boss can’t make eye contact with you, he can’t speak to you. That’s just social etiquette.

“I’ll do it,” says Johnson.

Jesus, Johnson is such a kissass. You roll your eyes in that general direction, then fake a yawn so you can’t get called out on it later.

Oh well, you successfully dodged that bullet and it seems like this bore-of-a-meeting is drawing to a close.

You should definitely get a cup of coffee before returning to your desk. It’s not that you want or need it, but at least it will give you something to do.

“That just leaves one more project, uh-uh-uh, we need to finish by the end of the quarter,” your boss says.

End of the quarter? That’s just a few days from now.

“We need a steady pair of hands to help us migrate our entire customer database into the new software we’ve purchased. We thought we could, uh-uh-uh, automate this, but it turns out that was never a feature of the software. It shouldn’t take more than a few hours. It’s very, uh-uh-uh, simple stuff.”

You boss locks eyes with you.

Shit. You were so shocked you forgot to look down.

“You don’t have much on your plate right now, uh-uh-uh, do you?”

Unable to think of anything vaguely real-sounding, and too depressed to risk speaking aloud, you shake your head ‘no.’

*    *    *    *    *

Copy, paste.

Copy, paste.

Didn’t you already paste that row?


Copy, paste.

Why didn’t you just pipe up and volunteer yourself for the other project? You know, the one you already did a near-identical version of last year.

Copy, paste.

It’s nearly 11 p.m.

Copy, paste.

Your eyes hurt.

Copy, paste.

Tomorrow’s the weekend.

Copy, paste.

You have until Monday to finish this job.

Copy, paste.

And you only just hit the Ds of your company’s alphabetical list of customer.

Copy, paste…


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