There’s edgy and there’s edgy. Maybe you should avoid the “dozens of rape counts” costume, just to be safe.

Plus, getting a “your boss” costume together will be easy. You already own a double-breasted suit and loafers. All you really have to do is buy a pair of cheap reader glasses at Walgreens and slick your hair into the right position.

*    *    *    *    *

The next afternoon, your boss calls everyone into the lobby.

“Time to show off the, uh-uh-uh, costumes,” he says. “We’ll vote once you’ve had a chance to see all the entries. First up: Morgan!”

Of course he’s given the prime opening spot to your nemesis, Morgan, who has opted to dress up as zombie Amy Winehouse. Jeez, Morgan, way to be dated.

Morgan starts belting out a few verses of a zombie-themed version of Rehab.

“They tried to make me go to rehab but I said, ‘brains, brains, brains.’ ”

You wince. That’s just painful. Oh well, at least you’ve got Morgan beat.

Morgan steps aside and everyone politely claps.

“Let’s put our, uh-uh-uh, hands together for the next contestant,” your boss says.

He calls your name.

You see a few people scratching their heads as you step forward. If they can’t guess the costume on their own, you stand no chance of winning.

Of course you could make it really easy for them. All you’d have to do is mimic your boss’s stupid nervous laugh.

But then again, he is standing right in front of you.

If you want to mock your boss’s subconscious, possibly compulsive behavior, click here.

If you just want to wave your mug around and mumble something about reports, click here.


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