You head into the break room, sighing heavily as you pour a coffee.

Tomorrow the company’s annual “rebranding initiative” will start, and you’ll be expected to pretend you believe the mountains of “let’s go down this path” work you produce will ever be implemented.

It’s even more disheartening than every other day at this miserable job.

You hear someone walk in. Oh great, as if this day isn’t bad enough, it’s Morgan, your work nemesis.

“Rebranding time again,” Morgan says with a grimace, “possibly my least favorite project every year.”

You’ve never heard Morgan say anything like this before; Morgan’s usually a total kissass.

“Yeah.”

“Like, if you’re going to wind up with the same bullshit strategy anyway, why not save us all the effort?”

“Yeah. Yeah!” You nod. Maybe you misjudged Morgan. “For Christ’s sake, we’re already about 10 years behind best practices.”

“Oh my god, yes.” Morgan snickers. “It’s like they want to lose market share.”

“I’d suggest using the software we already have to send targeted campaigns to our top segments, but they’d probably act like I was suggesting we topple the monarchy or some shit.”

“Oh well,” Morgan says. “See you in the trenches.”

“See you.”

At least Morgan’s on your side. That was unexpected.

*    *    *    *    *

Your boss walks up to your desk the next morning, perching on the edge.

“Got a, uh-uh-uh, minute?”

Here goes.

“Sure.”

“You may not know, but we’ve been doing some serious thinking about rebranding.”

“Oh, really?” You can’t even feign surprise.

“Yes. Usually I’d ask you to present a few ideas to management, but I, uh-uh-uh, spoke with Morgan yesterday, and I want to try something different.”

“Okay…”

“Morgan made me aware that we’re actually about 10 years behind best practices.”

Wait a second…

“And that with a little tweaking we could use the software we already have to send targeted campaigns to our top segments.”

Maybe he hates the idea. Don’t claim it yet…

“Of course I thought it was brilliant. I can’t believe no one’s realized this before. That’s why I’m putting Morgan in charge of an implementation strategy. You can report directly to Morgan for this project.”

God DAMMIT!

If you want to undermine Morgan so he’ll look like an idiot for stealing your idea, click here.

If you want to tattle to your boss right this second, click here.


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