It’s the day of the presentation.

You almost can’t hide your glee.

The work you turned in was beyond mediocre–something any decent project manager should have corrected–but you have something else up your sleeve…

Morgan stands up in front of the collected managers and starts laying out the plan. The work looks terrible. Like something the internet of 1997 would have rejected for being tasteless and dated.

“These targeted campaigns will show our VIP customers a different way to use our products,” Morgan says.

You raise your hand.

Morgan frowns, clearly annoyed.

“Yes?”

“Won’t a customer receiving three of these at once feel a little barraged?”

“Well…” Morgan splutters. “That won’t happen, we’ll track to see…”

“But we have so many crossover customers. And of course nothing prevents them from sharing these discount codes with the entire internet.”

Morgan glares at you.

“Yes, well, I don’t foresee that being a major problem. Any other questions?” No one speaks. “Then I suppose that’s it for my brand rejuvenation strategy. Thank you.”

“Considering the, uh-uh-uh, concerns that came up, I think we’ll probably shelf the idea for now,” your boss says, smiling pityingly at Morgan. “Maybe we should try something else entirely. What about a new tagline? And a redesign of the website?”

The same suggestion every fucking year. Which means a month from now, you’ll be here while your boss shoots down everything he previously asked you to “get creative with” for being “too different.”

Everyone’s filing out when you feel a tap on your shoulder.

“I just wanted to, uh-uh-uh, talk about what happened in there.”

“Okay.” Your stomach clenches.

“Clearly you and Morgan are having some interpersonal issues…”

“No, not at all. I just hadn’t realized those gaps until now–I wasn’t heading the project, obviously, so I didn’t know Morgan’s full plan. Those concerns seemed major to me.”

“Which I’d say showed great initiative if, uh-uh-uh, Morgan hadn’t already told me the idea was yours in the first place.”

Fuck.

“Well, sure, the basics, but the execution was…”

“Either your ability to think through your own ideas is terribly lacking or you were, uh-uh-uh, deliberately trying to scuttle your coworker.”

“No, I…”

“Which means you’re either too incompetent or too immature to handle the promotion I’d been planning on giving you if this went well. How disappointing.”

THE END.


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