FMFood Hogging-Coworker

Every week we would have a potluck at our school.

There was one teacher who, without fail, would take home all the leftovers. (She’d also completely raid the fridge on Friday afternoon as if it constituted her weekly grocery shopping trip.)

If a member of the teaching staff had a party, it was a given that she’d take home all the leftover birthday cake. As though no one else likes extra cake?

Now, I think it’s horrible to waste food. But I know for a fact that many other people on staff also wanted to take food home. Unfortunately, this person wasn’t very easy to reason with.

As the years passed, she continued her food-hoarding ways, growing both in girth and selfishness.

In the end, the only thing I ever saw her leave behind in the staff room was her divorce papers.

Which was possibly even more awkward than her stealing, come to think of it…

-Anonymous, Teacher

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FMThieving Coworkers

I know I’m not the only one who deals with office assholes stealing their food. Usually, though, it’s limited to the kinds of items you wouldn’t immediately miss–a little bit of the salad dressing you left in the fridge with a massive label on it, or a shmear of the cream cheese you keep on hand.

I like to lessen the pain of starting my work day by eating breakfast at my desk in the morning. My hour commute means that once I’m there, I’m pretty starving. I always keep bagels in the freezer so I can toast one up before I open my inbox.

One day, I come in and check the freezer for my customary bagel and…nothing. They’re all gone. I eat one every day, so I knew one was left, but here I was, starving, and there was nothing in the freezer but a lean cuisine lasagna.

I swear out loud and another coworker in the break room asks what’s going on. I tell him that “some asshole stole my bagels, so now I have literally nothing to eat.” (I may have been hangry.)

He smiles blandly and says “oh, that was me. I left my breakfast at home by accident. I’ll replace it tomorrow, though.”

What the FUCK?!?

The worst part of it? We work literally next door to a cafe. Yes, they serve bagels.

M.P., Insurance Industry