The thought of staying up late to watch Cheers with a few drinks is enticing, but why tempt fate?

Instead, you apply a Breathe Right Nasal Strip to the bridge of your nose and crawl into bed. You have something better than getting drunk: a sense of moral superiority.

You wake up to your phone alarm. You grab at it groggily. There’s already a list-serv email from work in your inbox:

Looks like the storm predictions were more bluster than blizzard.

Public transit is still up and running, so we expect to see all of you in the office this morning. We don’t even mind if you’re a little late!

Dress warm, and see you soon!

You jump out of bed, your rage waking you up fully. You rush to the window.

Everything is covered in snow! Even if it’s not as bad as everyone was anticipating, it still looks pretty treacherous. How dare they tell you to come into the office in this? Think of what could happen between now and the afternoon commute! It’s fascism!

“FUCK!” Today was supposed to be a “work” in your pajamas day. And now they’ve stolen that from you. The bastards!

You know what? No. Fuck that. You’re not trekking through all of that snow and sleet and…whatever other shitty meteorology is happening out there.

No, you’re decided: you’re staying at home today. If that requires a tiny white lie to pull off, so be it.


If you want to write back saying you can’t get your car out, click here.

If you want to cite general safety concerns, click here.