In order to get away with shitting in the “no-shitting toilet,” this is gonna have to be the most delicate dump you’ve ever taken. Ideally, one that aims straight for the bowl-hole with as little contact as possible

You slowly relax your sphincter.  Control is the name of the game.


Easy does it now.


The first wave of shit smell hits you. Oh god, it’s terrible. Why do you keep eating Combos when you’re drunk? They’re so good going in, but Jesus, the way out.

The stench broke your concentration for a brief but critical moment. Oh, fuck, it’s too late now. You’ve opened up the floodgates.


Oh god, it’s hitting the entire bowl at once. It’s ass-Chernobyl, in here, things are spinning wildly out of control and you can’t do anything to stop it.

Oh well, you might as well completely let go now.

You let loose at least another thirty seconds of continuous, muddy shit.

Finally it’s over. What a relief. You feel at least five pounds lighter, almost like someone who never, or at least only rarely, binges on Combos.

You grab a handful of toilet paper and start wiping. Weirdly, from your asshole’s end, it’s basically a clean getaway. Huh.

You flush, turning around to assess the the damage.

Oh god, there are streaks everywhere. And of course there never was a toilet brush in this bathroom.

If you want to somehow deal with this mess, click here.

If you want to flee the scene of the crime, click here.

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