“It was the craziest thing, he just called me into his office and asked if I could go to Iceland next week. Obviously I said yes–who wouldn’t want to go to Iceland? Especially when they’ve built in so much free time around the meetings.”

Johnson has your entire section of cubes enthralled with the Iceland announcement. If you go in to see your boss now, would he possibly give it to you? He wanted you, not Johnson, didn’t he?

“That’s crazy,” Gina, the receptionist, says. “He must have finally recognized you’re the only one with any actual brains around here.” She glares at you pointedly. She’s hated you ever since you told her you thought it was great how she wore skirts like that, even with her thighs. Jesus, Gina, it was a compliment.

“Well actually, as much as I’d like to believe you’re right, I guess I just lucked into it,” Johnson says.

He’s lowered his voice. You have to strain a little to hear.

“I guess he planned on asking someone else, he wouldn’t say who, but apparently this person smelled so horrific he changed his mind.”

What? You’ve smelled worse.

“NO.” Gina’s loving this.

“Yeah, whoever it was stank so bad he almost vomited on the spot. He still looked pale when I spoke with him, actually. I guess a lot of the meetings are going to be happening in the field–during a lava tube tour, on a small fishing vessel. One’s in a model ‘gnome home’ up the coast–it’s supposed to be charming. Anyway, with so many enclosed spaces, he felt the deal wouldn’t have a chance.”

Jesus, why did you eat so many Combos last night? Your farts never smell that bad when you just stick to Bugles.

“So I’ll be going instead. The whole trip is already paid for, and since it was supposed to be management, the ticket is first class. It’s gonna be amazing.”

Goddammit. After this news, you’re definitely going to need to swing by Thirsty Tuesday tonight…

THE END


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